Shhhh… You Don't Know Me

November 18, 2009

Sad Moment of Reflection Today

Filed under: Daily Jabber — Shhhh @ 3:08 am
Tags: , ,

I ran into someone today that I haven’t seen in years.  We’ve been friends for over twenty years, but really, I haven’t laid eyes on her in forever. 

Today I ran into her at her new job, in my local grocery store.  And I could see her squirming, but didn’t know why… until she pointed out how fat she was.  I hadn’t really noticed.

You see, she was fat when I met her.  Apparently in the years we were apart (no breakup, just life got busy), she lost a bunch of weight, then put it all back on again.  And now she doesn’t go anywhere because of it and the depression it brought with it.

And now I’m sad for her.  Because her weight is weighing her down. 

She made a comment something like ‘look at skinny you!”  She’s so proud of me.  But I don’t know what to say to her.  I feel like I want to say something to her, like “don’t let weight stop you from living” or “you are still my Nikki, no matter what you look like” or even “i didn’t know skinny Nikki, so please don’t hide fat Nikki from me”. 

But how do you say something like that without hurting someone.  How do I tell her that I don’t care about her weight, that I just want to laugh with her.  That it’s okay to come out with me, that she’s safe.  That I’m not looking for a fat or skinny friend, I just want to reconnect with MY friend.

Sad.  And so glad I’m not where she is.  I don’t ever want to be where she is.

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