Shhhh… You Don't Know Me

September 28, 2009

o. m. g.

Filed under: Daily Jabber — Shhhh @ 6:08 am
Tags: , , ,

I could have so gotten laid tonight. 

Seriously. 

My ex boyfriend picked me up, so to speak.  Why?  Because he didn’t recognize me.  Last time he rocognized me I was over 200 pounds.  Tonight he finally got up the nerve (he’s seen me a few times in the Wolf), and said to me “You must have worked in a beer and wine or something in this town, because I’m sure I’ve seen you”.  To which I replied “no Dave, you were the one that brought me to this town.  You introduced me to my son’s father.”  I saw the light go on.  I saw the remembering flood into his head.  I saw the anger kick back in, as he said “no, it was my brothers that introduced you to him”. 

It coulda been tense, but I didn’t let it be.  I eased him past the remembered anger, and the truth came out.  My son’s father broke the code.  And Dave just wanted him to stand up once and be a man and say that he broke the code.  Just take one hit and it woulda been “guy even”.  But Doug never ever did that.  And every time he ran or hid, Dave got madder.  And he became a stalker.  And it was ugly for a time.

Fast forward ten years, see each other around town, he watches me progress from that little sexy thing to a fat fat woman.  And he told me tonight, that he felt it was karma and he laughed.  And he laughed and laughed.  And I laughed with him, but then part of me was still all “hey”.  But you know what?  Whatever, it’s all water under the bridge, right?

I was able to “Dale Carnegie” him past it. And then in answer to me saying “Your remember me now?” he says, “I remember you… I remember the standing ovation we got after fucking in the park that day.  I remember fucking in the bus stop.  We fucked everywhere.  Yeah, I remember you.”.

D’oh.

Yeah, I remember him, too.  I especially remember the time we were fucking in him mother’s bathroom, and it was raw, so we grabbed the nearest thing… which happened to be menthol shaving foam.

Lemme give you a little piece of advice.  I don’t care how horny you are, never ever use menthol shaving foam for lube.  Ever.

I reminded him.  He HOWLED.  Oh yeah, he, too, remembers that one.

Then jabber jabber jabber later, after discussing kids and spouses and work… I’ve told him how incredibly happy I am in my marriage, and we cheersed it, and out of nowhere he says “I’ll tell you what I remember, I remember those nipples”.

Gulp.  I’msorrywhat? Why can I all of a sudden feel my pulse in my clit?

Dude.  DUDE.

I let him by me a drink, as long as we toasted coming full circle and putting the past behind and future friendships and such.  Then I let him walk me home.

But on the way home, he put subtle moves on me.  He played the “I thought we were more than friends” card on me.

I had two choices.  Fuck him silly, or run.

I didn’t have a condom on me.

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2 Comments »

  1. Sounds like he has some serious issues. You’re probably better off without the complications!

    Comment by Kate — September 28, 2009 @ 1:13 pm | Reply

    • LOL, no DOUBT!! Still it’s kinda nice to be wanted, even if nothing will ever happen.

      Comment by Shhhh — October 3, 2009 @ 4:28 pm | Reply


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